![[sticky entry]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/entry/sticky_entry.png){kind=small}
code © ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
pagans
pagans( all the precious things love has in store )
(no subject)
Dec. 31st, 2013 10:02 pmIt was nearly time. The sun was hovering over the horizon like some large, overripe fruit, red and looming. The beach remained deserted as most people prepared themselves for the night and whatever festivities it would entail. The air hung heavy and quiet, time seeming to stand motionless in those last few moments, in her last few moments.
She had decided that this was to be it over a week earlier. Her ennui had been a constant companion for far too long now, having finally overcome and swallowed the anger that had kept her going since ringing in the last new year. She hadn't been meant to see this one and she'd always known it. Now it was finally time for Tracy to rectify a mistake made by a long-gone fool who weighed life to be worth far more than it usually was.
She hadn't acted immediately upon making her decision. As final as it was, it obviously wasn't one to take lightly or to be acted on rashly. She'd sat on it, rolled the idea over and over in her head, and found that for the first time in a very long while, she had something to look forward to again. That clinched it, really.
The sun touched the horizon, and immediately, she began to move, rising quickly from where she lay and walking toward the water's edge. She'd been there for hours, and while her limbs were a bit stiff, she had long since gotten any hesitation she may have had out of her system. She was ready.
She reached up as her feet found the water (colder than expected but bearable as ever) as was surprised to find that she'd been crying. It was important to her that she went into this with a clear mind and a clear heart, though, so she simply wiped the tears away, kept her face level, and continued, the water rising up over ankles and knees. It was slow going, but it all seemed to progress terribly quickly anyway, particularly without some misguided man like James or Erik around to impede her. By the time the water was rising over her breasts, it was taking a supreme effort to keep her breathing steady, her heart hammering in her chest as she anticipated what was to come next.
It had been coming for such a very long time.
When that last wave seemed to reach out and grab her, when she found herself with the water over her head not in a slow progression but suddenly, all at once, she had a brief moment of genuine panic, but it left her quickly, with the very next rush of the tide, and she made no effort to find her footing again. It was time.
Whatever happens, there will be no regrets.
She had decided that this was to be it over a week earlier. Her ennui had been a constant companion for far too long now, having finally overcome and swallowed the anger that had kept her going since ringing in the last new year. She hadn't been meant to see this one and she'd always known it. Now it was finally time for Tracy to rectify a mistake made by a long-gone fool who weighed life to be worth far more than it usually was.
She hadn't acted immediately upon making her decision. As final as it was, it obviously wasn't one to take lightly or to be acted on rashly. She'd sat on it, rolled the idea over and over in her head, and found that for the first time in a very long while, she had something to look forward to again. That clinched it, really.
The sun touched the horizon, and immediately, she began to move, rising quickly from where she lay and walking toward the water's edge. She'd been there for hours, and while her limbs were a bit stiff, she had long since gotten any hesitation she may have had out of her system. She was ready.
She reached up as her feet found the water (colder than expected but bearable as ever) as was surprised to find that she'd been crying. It was important to her that she went into this with a clear mind and a clear heart, though, so she simply wiped the tears away, kept her face level, and continued, the water rising up over ankles and knees. It was slow going, but it all seemed to progress terribly quickly anyway, particularly without some misguided man like James or Erik around to impede her. By the time the water was rising over her breasts, it was taking a supreme effort to keep her breathing steady, her heart hammering in her chest as she anticipated what was to come next.
It had been coming for such a very long time.
When that last wave seemed to reach out and grab her, when she found herself with the water over her head not in a slow progression but suddenly, all at once, she had a brief moment of genuine panic, but it left her quickly, with the very next rush of the tide, and she made no effort to find her footing again. It was time.
Whatever happens, there will be no regrets.
Top level [for Erik]
Jan. 1st, 2013 12:00 amHer dress was stunning, a clingy teal affair she'd been saving for the party. Her hair was perfect, not a strand out of place, even after all she'd just gone through. Her makeup, immaculate, no surprises there. She'd left her glass of cheap champagne far behind her, but beyond that, Tracy could have easily passed for just another New Year's reveler, out enjoying the evening.
This was also setting aside, of course, the fact that she was no longer with the party. She'd left it far behind as well, far below, after abruptly taking her leave (calmly, though, always so calmly; it wasn't nearly as sudden a decision as it had seemed) and ducking into one of the many buildings bordering the square.
She'd taken the stairs. There was no real rush, plenty of time left while the crowds waited for midnight with baited breath, practically an eternity before her absence might be noted. Her shoes lay discarded back at the second landing, and she'd taken the last few floors at a run when she'd heard the sound of a door opening somewhere below her, but the building wasn't overly tall. Aside from a slight hitch in her breath from the dash, she felt fine.
The wind was cold on the ledge, far colder than it felt down with the others, but that was quite alright. She felt all the more awake for it, all the more alive for once.
This wasn't how she would have liked to end it, but the water, her water was no longer an option, and Tracy would never deign to consign herself to the filthy waters of America. No, this would do fine, meeting her end amidst the lights and the cheers and the fresh new beginnings that were continually denied to her. More impersonal, perhaps, and certainly messier, but how much did a woman living on borrowed time deserve, anyway?
This was also setting aside, of course, the fact that she was no longer with the party. She'd left it far behind as well, far below, after abruptly taking her leave (calmly, though, always so calmly; it wasn't nearly as sudden a decision as it had seemed) and ducking into one of the many buildings bordering the square.
She'd taken the stairs. There was no real rush, plenty of time left while the crowds waited for midnight with baited breath, practically an eternity before her absence might be noted. Her shoes lay discarded back at the second landing, and she'd taken the last few floors at a run when she'd heard the sound of a door opening somewhere below her, but the building wasn't overly tall. Aside from a slight hitch in her breath from the dash, she felt fine.
The wind was cold on the ledge, far colder than it felt down with the others, but that was quite alright. She felt all the more awake for it, all the more alive for once.
This wasn't how she would have liked to end it, but the water, her water was no longer an option, and Tracy would never deign to consign herself to the filthy waters of America. No, this would do fine, meeting her end amidst the lights and the cheers and the fresh new beginnings that were continually denied to her. More impersonal, perhaps, and certainly messier, but how much did a woman living on borrowed time deserve, anyway?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}